Quote of the Day (2014-05-31)

Basil Fawlty: Manuel... my wife informs me that you're... depressed. Let me tell you something. Depression is a very bad thing. It's like a virus. If you don't stamp on it, it spreads throughout the mind, and then one day you wake up in the morning and you... you can't face life any more!

Sybil Fawlty: And then you open a hotel.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2014-05-30)

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!



(pause)



Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.



(pause)



Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Source: Monty Python's Flying Circus

Quote of the Day (2014-05-29)

Olive Penderghast: If he's so smart, why is your boyfriend 22 years old and still in high school?

Marianne: Because, Olive, it's His choice!

Olive Penderghast: Oh, really? His choice? He just *wants* to be repeating his senior year for, like, the fourth time 'cause he can't pass a single test?

Marianne: No, silly,

[points up]

Marianne: His. His, with a capital H. If the Good Lord had wanted Micah to graduate, he would have given him the right answers.

Olive Penderghast: [laughs] I'm sorry, but, I mean, really? You gotta be shittin' me, woman.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2014-05-28)

[after Annie parks the car]

Alvy Singer: Don't worry. We can walk to the curb from here.

Source: Annie Hall

Quote of the Day (2014-05-27)

"Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable. I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It all became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat... It's often wrong."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-05-26)

Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.

Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.

Reg: What's the *point*?

Francis: What?

Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?

Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2014-05-25)

C.D. Bales: I, uh, notice you don't have any tattoos. I think that's a wise choice. I don't think Jackie Onassis would've gone as far if she'd have had an anchor on her arm.

Source: Roxanne

Quote of the Day (2014-05-24)

Politicians' Logic: Something must be done, this is something, therefore it must be done.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-05-23)

Westley: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2014-05-22)

[as he goes to hand Renault a bribe]

Jan Brandel: Captain Renault... may I?

Captain Renault: Oh no! Not here please! Come to my office tomorrow morning. We'll do everything business-like.

Jan Brandel: We'll be there at six!

Captain Renault: I'll be there at ten.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2014-05-21)

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

Narrator: So you can breath.

Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2014-05-20)

Rick: I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2014-05-19)

[after Eduardo has turned up in California to find Sean has moved in with Mark and working on Facebook]

Mark Zuckerberg: So how is Christy?

Eduardo Saverin: Christy's crazy.

Mark Zuckerberg: Is that fun?

Eduardo Saverin: Nope. She's actually psychotic. She's insanely jealous, she is irrational and I'm...I'm frightened of her.

Mark Zuckerberg: Still, it's nice you have a girlfriend.

Source: The Social Network

Quote of the Day (2014-05-18)

Principal Gibbons: This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2014-05-17)

Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-05-16)

Aunt Voula: What do you mean he don't eat no meat?

[the entire room stops, in shock]

Aunt Voula: Oh, that's okay. I make lamb.

Source: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Quote of the Day (2014-05-15)

Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement.

Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'!

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2014-05-14)

Narrator: Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2014-05-13)

I once shot a man just to watch him die. Then I got distracted and missed it. My friends tried to describe it to me, but it just isn't the same.

Source: Kids in the Hall

Quote of the Day (2014-05-12)

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Source: Monty Python's Flying Circus

Quote of the Day (2014-05-11)

Cheryl "Rhode Island": Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me - she said they were Satan's panties!

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2014-05-10)

[Alvy addresses a pair of strangers on the street]

Alvy Singer: Here, you look like a very happy couple, um, are you?

Female street stranger: Yeah.

Alvy Singer: Yeah? So, so, how do you account for it?

Female street stranger: Uh, I'm very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.

Male street stranger: And I'm exactly the same way.

Alvy Singer: I see. Wow. That's very interesting. So you've managed to work out something?

Source: Annie Hall

Quote of the Day (2014-05-09)

Derek Zoolander: Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2014-05-08)

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?

Buttercup: Well... you were dead.

Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.

Buttercup: I will never doubt again.

Westley: There will never be a need.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2014-05-07)

FATHER: For, since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him,--

[ugh]

RANDOM: Oh, he's died!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-05-06)

Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-05-05)

All right ... all right ... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order ... what HAVE the Romans done for US?

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2014-05-04)

This one goes to 11.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2014-05-03)

Homer: It's easy to be president. Just point the army and shoot.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-05-01)

Martin: Half your listening audience hears voices already, and the other half talks to themselves! If you don't show up, who's going to notice?

Source: Frasier